Revealed: 14 Disturbing Home Behaviors of Cheating Narcissists!

Cheating in relationships is a deeply painful and complex issue. When a partner is a narcissist, the aftermath of infidelity can take on unique and challenging dynamics.

Narcissists, by definition, possess an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

This article will dive into the behaviors, tactics, and psychological patterns that cheating narcissists exhibit at home after their infidelity is discovered.

What Do Cheating Narcissists Do at Home After Cheating?

1. Denial and Minimization

One of the initial reactions of a narcissist when caught cheating is outright denial. They may completely deny the affair or minimize the severity of their actions. Phrases like, “It wasn’t serious,” or “It was just a mistake,” are commonly used to downplay their betrayal. This tactic serves to protect their ego and maintain a semblance of control over the narrative.

  • Denial: “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
  • Minimization: “It was just one time; it didn’t mean anything.”

2. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where the narcissist tries to make their partner doubt their own perceptions and reality. They might twist facts, deny conversations, or accuse the victim of being overly sensitive or paranoid. This not only shifts the blame but also weakens the partner’s confidence and ability to confront the truth.

  • Example Statements: “You’re imagining things,” or “You’re overreacting; that never happened.”

3. Blame Shifting

Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their actions. Instead, they shift the blame onto their partner, making them feel responsible for the infidelity. Common excuses include claiming their partner was not attentive enough or accusing them of driving them away emotionally or physically.

  • Typical Accusations: “You made me do it,” or “If you paid more attention to me, I wouldn’t have strayed.”

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4. Love Bombing

After being caught, a cheating narcissist might engage in love bombing. This involves an outpouring of affection, gifts, and exaggerated gestures of love to regain the partner’s trust and distract them from the infidelity. The goal is to create a sense of dependency and make the partner feel special and cherished, despite the betrayal.

  • Behaviors: Unexpected romantic gestures, lavish gifts, or sudden declarations of love.

5. Devaluation and Discard

Once the narcissist feels their position is secure or if they fail to regain control through love bombing, they may start devaluing and discarding their partner. This involves belittling, criticizing, and emotionally withdrawing from the relationship. The narcissist may start seeking new sources of validation and admiration elsewhere.

  • Signs of Devaluation: Harsh criticism, ignoring, or treating the partner with disdain.
  • Discarding: Sudden emotional or physical withdrawal, ending the relationship without closure.

6. Projection

Narcissists often project their own flaws and mistakes onto others. After cheating, they might accuse their partner of being unfaithful or suggest that they cannot be trusted. This deflection helps them avoid dealing with their own guilt and shifts the focus away from their actions.

  • Common Projections: Accusations of infidelity, questioning the partner’s loyalty.

7. Isolation

To maintain control, a narcissist may isolate their partner from friends, family, and support systems. They might spread lies about their partner’s behavior or character to alienate them from others. This isolation makes it harder for the partner to seek help or recognize the toxic dynamics at play.

  • Tactics: Sowing distrust between the partner and their social circle, creating drama to distance the partner from their support network.

8. Emotional Manipulation and Triangulation

Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They might use emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping, or other manipulative tactics to keep their partner off balance and maintain control. Triangulation, where the narcissist involves a third party to create jealousy or competition, is another common tactic to manipulate their partner’s emotions and maintain power dynamics.

  • Manipulative Behaviors: Playing the victim, making the partner feel guilty for their actions, involving ex-partners or new interests to create jealousy.

9. False Promises and Future Faking

To placate their partner and prevent them from leaving, a narcissist might make false promises about the future. They might promise to change, attend counseling, or take steps to improve the relationship. However, these promises are often empty and serve only to delay any real consequences for their actions.

  • False Promises: “I’ll never do it again,” or “We’ll go to therapy and work on this.”

10. Avoidance and Escapism

When confronted with their actions, some narcissists may resort to avoidance and escapism. They might withdraw from difficult conversations, become overly defensive, or immerse themselves in work, hobbies, or other distractions to avoid addressing the issues at hand.

  • Avoidance Tactics: Changing the subject, becoming overly busy, or using substances to escape reality.

11. Seeking Validation Elsewhere

Despite being caught, a cheating narcissist might continue seeking validation and admiration from others. They might maintain relationships with multiple partners or engage in behaviors that feed their need for attention and ego reinforcement.

  • Behaviors: Flirting with others, maintaining contact with ex-lovers, or actively seeking new romantic interests.

12. Rewriting the Narrative

Narcissists often rewrite the narrative to portray themselves in a favorable light. They might recast their actions to seem justified or shift the blame onto their partner. This revisionist history serves to protect their ego and maintain their self-image as the hero or victim in the story.

  • Revised Narratives: “I was the victim,” or “I only did it because I wasn’t being treated well.”

13. Emotional Detachment

Some narcissists may emotionally detach from the relationship to protect themselves from feelings of guilt or shame. They might become cold, distant, and indifferent to their partner’s emotional needs, creating a barrier that prevents genuine intimacy and reconciliation.

  • Signs of Detachment: Lack of emotional response, avoiding eye contact, or an indifferent attitude towards the partner’s feelings.

14. Maintaining a False Image

Despite their actions, narcissists often go to great lengths to maintain a positive image in the eyes of others. They might act charming and loving in public, while behaving differently behind closed doors. This duplicity helps them preserve their reputation and manipulate others’ perceptions of the relationship.

  • Public Behavior: Overly affectionate, generous, or attentive in social settings.
  • Private Behavior: Critical, detached, or manipulative at home.


Understanding the behaviors of a cheating narcissist at home can help victims recognize the patterns and dynamics that often accompany infidelity.

Narcissists employ a range of manipulative tactics to maintain control, protect their ego, and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards reclaiming one’s sense of self and seeking healthier, more authentic relationships.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s crucial to seek support from trusted friends, family, or a professional therapist. Empowering yourself with knowledge and support can help you navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic partner and make informed decisions about your future.

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